Zoom isn’t just a “COVID thing” anymore. As a society, we have seen so many things shift to the virtual space; such as our jobs, holiday gatherings, and end-of-life services. One thing all of these have in common is that they can bring people together despite cumbersome and uncertain circumstances, such as travel, planning process, and weather.
While we at Lighten have heard a number of reasons for why families are opting for online memorials over in-person funeral services held in a funeral homes, today we would like to share three main considerations that may help you in your decision-making.
“Our family is too spread out to hold an in-person funeral service.”
You may have found yourself or known a family member to be in this situation before…
The call comes in that a loved one has passed away. A funeral home has been chosen and the date of the funeral service is set within the same week. A simultaneous conversation happens with oneself as they process the news and think, “I’ll have to check flights, I have to see when I can catch a plane.” The logistics of the travel add feelings of overwhelm on top of the feelings of grief over the loss.
This is not an unusual situation. But online memorials are also not-so-uncustomary. Families are realizing they can avoid the added stress of long-distance travel by choosing to honor their loved one virtually as opposed to hosting a traditional funeral service in a funeral home. And this doesn’t apply only to family members thousands of miles apart. Even moderate distances can prove difficult given potential weather conditions, age of attendees, and the high costs of travel.
“Planning an in-person funeral service would be very overwhelming right now.”
We understand that seeking out end-of-life services can be overwhelming. Where do you start? If the thought of a somber funeral home being your first stop is too hard to stomach, you are not alone. At Lighten, we create a significantly more manageable planning process in a couple of ways. Our online planning portal and video conference consultations allow family members to plan from the comfort of their own homes, to collaborate on the planning even when they are spread out across different locations, and to plan at the time that is most convenient for them. Our team also handles tech support for you and your guests during the online memorial. Most importantly, at Lighten, we listen to the story of your loved one’s unique life so that we may curate an experience to match – an experience that represents your loved one’s personal, cultural, and spiritual identity.
Unlike the planning process of an in-person funeral service held at a funeral home, online memorials skip over the part where you walk into the funeral home and are potentially faced with making an overwhelming number of decisions – like what sized room you’ll need, what type of flowers to order, and what printed memorial card design to select. With an online memorial’s streamlined planning process and more manageable gathering experience, you can focus on celebrating the life of your loved one more than anything else.
“It would be very hard to face people at an in-person funeral service.”
Everyone has their own way of approaching grief. Some of the families who worked with us to plan an online memorial cited the private grieving process as being one of their main decision-making drivers. Sometimes, when one is feeling emotionally fragile after the loss of a family member, it can feel daunting and uncomfortable to feel like one’s grief is “on display” for a room full of dozens of people. Online memorials allow each person to gather from the peace and quiet of their own home, and to choose to turn off their camera, if they need a private moment. Sometimes, the day of an in-person funeral home gathering can be an extremely hard one to get through. Online memorials, on the other hand, provide the option to engage in whatever way feels right to you.
Creating a Celebration of Life
Whether you ultimately choose an online memorial or an in-person funeral service set in a funeral home, we want you to know that there is no right or wrong way to plan end-of-life services. Our ultimate message to anyone in the planning process is to create something deeply personal that celebrates the unique identity of your loved one. If you are planning an online, in-person, or hybrid format memorial service, Lighten can help.
