At Lighten, we work with families who are looking for an alternative way to honor the life of their loved ones when traditional funerals fall short of being personalized reflections. Alternative funeral services, sometimes referred to as celebrations of life or memorials, that are thoughtfully and meaningfully curated can be a beautiful way to celebrate the uniqueness of your loved one. In this article, we provide an overview of alternative funeral services along with three examples of memorials to help spark out-of-the-box ideas in either making arrangements for your own memorial or planning a celebration of a loved one.
What are Alternative Funeral Services?
The broadest definition of alternative funeral services might be to say that they are any memorials held outside of the traditional funeral home environment. Details that also define alternative funeral services can include tone, ceremony design, and the timing of the service.
Tone – In choosing to hold an alternative funeral service, it’s okay to choose an alternative tone. Traditional funerals are often thought of as somber, ritualistic events. Celebrations of life, on the other hand, are more closely associated with uplifting and joyous occasions. We believe in finding a tone that reflects the spirit of the life being honored. That could mean anything from an introspective memorial service to a celebration of life party. Whatever you feel is most personalized to your loved one.
Ceremony Design – The design of the ceremony includes details such as readings, songs, tributes, flowers, food, and activities. Every detail can be completely personalized to your loved one by choosing things that will reflect their interests, life milestones, and personality. For example, Lighten collaborated with one family who chose daffodils over traditional funeral floral arrangements because their loved one was known for planting daffodils all around his community to uplift and bring joy to his neighbors. By choosing an alternative flower, this family was able to bring the light their loved one shone to the memorial service.
Timing – Traditionally, funerals immediately follow the passing of a loved one. Alternatively, there is an opportunity to plan a memorial that is personalized by aligning with a date of significance or favorite time of year of your loved one. Dates of significance might include birthdays and anniversaries. The time of year can also align with what you feel your loved one would have wanted. For example, a summertime backyard memorial or a ski lodge venue with snow-covered hills in the background. Freeing yourself from traditional timing can allow you and your guests to feel closer to the loved one on the day of their memorial.
Alternative Funeral Services Examples
In stepping outside the funeral home, many alternative venues open up for a personalized celebration of your loved one.
Virtual Memorials – One of the challenges to holding a traditional service in a funeral home is accessibility. Those who want to be present to honor their loved one might not be able to do so due to travel, weather, childcare, or scheduling conflicts. This is one reason why more and more families are turning to virtual gatherings as alternative funeral services. This alternative gathering space can mean that your loved one’s celebration is filled with all the caring and kindness their friends and family have to give while allowing more people to attend.
Memorials at Home – Memorials at home can be wonderfully intimate and personalized gatherings. You can serve your loved one’s favorite foods, display artifacts from their life, or plant flowers and trees in the backyard in your loved one’s honor. The tone, ceremony elements, and timing can all be personalized in a familiar setting.
Organize an Outing – Alternative funeral services don’t have to be “services” at all. You can organize an outing to your loved one’s favorite place, find a charity that is near and dear to your loved one and organize a volunteer day, or host an event for friends and family to do a special activity together. Memorial outings in place of or in addition to a funeral or memorial service are a beautiful way to get out and actively celebrate your loved one’s life.
For more examples of alternative funeral services, you can browse the Lighten Blog. If you’re ready to begin making arrangements for your personalized memorial or plan a unique gathering for your loved one, start a conversation with Lighten.
